Now, any right-thinking member of the human race probably realises that a Self Storage unit is not the place to store, say, a week’s worth of bananas, unwashed lunch boxes and your ant farm – with live ants still in it. Unless, that is, you’re planning to develop a new, brain-eating strain of Cordyceps…
So here, in the interest of good Self Storage from StoreLocal Newmarket health and maintenance, we present to you a list of what NOT to do or store. And believe it or not, many of these examples are culled from real life. Don’t try these at home, kids.
- Remains of the day. Bizarrely, there have been many reports of urns full of ashes being stored. In one case, a Florida family stored their Grandmother’s body in a storage unit for 17 years. When informed that their unit would go up for auction due to unpaid rent, they complained, saying it couldn’t be sold because “the body of a dead relative” was inside. Don’t do it, guys. Is this really where you want dear old mum-in-law to spend her afterlife?
- Things that go bang in the night. Storing guns, ammunition, weapons or live grenades? Just: nope. And that’s pretty much what a man in Michigan said when he discovered a live grenade in a Self Storage unit, and immediately phoned the police to come and disarm it. This counts for any World War I mines too, people. And by the way: storing fireworks or anything that can explode when touched by a spark is a big no-no.
- Don’t you know that you’re toxic? Don’t know what to do with your leftover paint, petrol, drain cleaner or DDT? We don’t either. But we DO know that you should not store any of it in self-storage: it’s a fire and breathing hazard.
- Hulk alert! That tiny piece of radioactive uranium your lovely Nanna Barb brought back from her trip to Chernobyl? Get rid of it. And see your doctor if you start to turn green.
- It used to be fluffy… but now it’s just a rather smelly heap of goo and bones. Do NOT store any live animals, insects, plants or any perishable matter in a storage unit. This should be common sense. But hey, you never know…
The team at StoreLocal Newmarket is happy to give advice about what you can and cannot store, and we’ll give advice on how to get the most from your Self Storage unit.